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"I called her on the phone and she touched herself
I laughed myself to sleep”

(Source: drunkenpiss, via pizzatheveilss)

  • 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

CROATOAN

endverse-chucks-toilet-paper:

lucifercrew124:

THIS IS NOT A DRILL:
GLOBAL PANDEMIC HAS TAKEN OVER THE WORLD DO NOT APPROACH THE INFECTED PREPARE YOUR WEAPONS GRAB YOUR SALT AND IF YOU SEE THE DEVIL RUN

THIS IS THE CROATOAN VRIUS
WELCOME TO THE END OF THE WORLD

SPREAD THE WORD AND REMEMBER GOD DOESNT GIVE A SHIT

image

(via gallifreys-fall)

gaymzee:

no mom i already have a job its called being hardcore

(via feralwavestoyourmind)

  • a cool, hip, fun new idea: don't make fun of mentally ill teenagers

"You can never be overdressed or overeducated."

Oscar Wilde (via kushandwizdom)

(via b100dw01f)